Sometimes the people you want to see are far away. Sometimes schedules, caregiving, disability, cost, health, weather, or a last-minute change make meeting in person unrealistic. In those moments, a virtual get-together is not a failed version of the plan. It is another way to make time for one another.
It will not reproduce everything about sharing a physical space. You cannot pass someone a snack through a screen or catch every glance and laugh. But you can still choose something to do at the same time, notice how the other person responds, and make a memory that belongs to both of you. If the alternative is cancelling and having no shared moment at all, connecting virtually can matter.
Connection comes from what you do together
A video call does not automatically feel close, and a virtual event does not need to be elaborate. What helps is having a shared focus and room for participation. Listen to an album and trade reactions. Cook the same simple meal. Watch a performance together. Bring a few songs for a friend who is having a long week. The activity gives the conversation somewhere to go.
Research on shared music offers one small example. Across three online experiments, participants who believed they were listening to music with other people reported somewhat greater pleasure than participants in the solo condition. The social presence was simulated; people did not interact with real listeners. This does not show that virtual music sessions reduce loneliness or equal meeting in person. It suggests that the sense of sharing a musical moment can shape how people experience it. Read the iScience study.
Make a virtual gathering easy to join
- Choose a short, specific activity: “Let’s listen to three songs” is easier to accept than an open-ended call.
- Offer a time and a low-pressure way to join late, leave early, or simply listen.
- Make room for different comfort levels. Some people may want to talk; others may prefer to be present quietly.
- Use captions, chat, or a simple written plan when they make the experience more accessible.
- Let everyone suggest something.
Think of these as invitations, not rules. A person may not have the energy to join, and that is okay. The point is to lower the effort required to share a small moment, not to turn connection into another obligation.
What the evidence can and cannot say
Digital connection is not one single thing. A facilitated group, a video call with a friend, an online class, and passively scrolling a feed are different experiences. A 2025 systematic review of randomized trials found that outcomes varied across digital interventions; some group-based activities and supported programmes showed promise, while some forms of social contact or self-guided activity had limited impact. The authors noted bias, variation between studies, and limited long-term follow-up. The review studied interventions related to loneliness and social isolation, not every casual virtual gathering. Online experiences can support connection, but there is no guarantee that every format will feel meaningful. Read the review in Internet Interventions.
Virtual and in-person connection do not need to compete. One can be the practical option when the other is out of reach; sometimes one helps keep a relationship warm between visits. The right format depends on the people, the moment, and what is possible.
A small shared moment is still a shared moment
Pick something you both enjoy, keep the plan flexible, and pay attention to each other rather than trying to create a perfect online event. A few songs, a short performance, or a familiar activity can give a conversation a place to begin. It may not be the same as sitting together, but it can still be time you chose to share.
If music is an easy way to gather, explore VIBESXS Vibe Rooms, where a host can share a live DJ set with invited listeners.
